Serge recently sent me five miniature 'zines of "steampunk erotica" under the collective label SteamyPunk, which I read while sitting around Darkovercon. Like Serge, who mentioned them on his LiveJournal back in November, I was disappointed. The 'zines sell for $1 each and are available at the SteamyPunk website, where you can also just read the stories for free. I recommend that approach; you can always send the authors money through the website if you find the stories exciting enough to warrant it. I didn't. These stories make me wonder if I misunderstand the entire concept of steampunk, since I find it almost entirely missing here.
Warning: I'm going to talk about the stories in some detail, though not gorily explicit detail, below. Stop reading now if you can't handle this or if for some reason you don't want spoilers.
I like my erotica fairly hardcore (I'm avoiding the "p**n" word here because that's not really a Google search I want Rixo coming up on) and am agnostic about whether it has to be accompanied by any significant plot. I've certainly read, and even enjoyed, plenty of badly written erotica, though I prefer the better-written stuff, and plenty of plot- and characterization-free erotica. But if something is labeled steampunk, I expect some steampunk elements to be integral to the story at least (if there is one), if not the sex itself (if there isn't). And if something is given a pseudo-Victorian setting, then I expect some historical trappings and to encounter language more like the classic The Way of a Man with a Maid (warning for those who might buy it: explicit, kinky, and eroticizes rape). 
1. "A Man of the Waste" by Margaret Killjoy. This starts out on the wrong note immediately with an inconsistency in the second paragraph. The female lead is simultaneously covered by a leather coat that leaves "little skin exposed to the desert dust and sun; only her collar exposed a thin red V of her chest" and possessed of "nearly uncovered breasts" which are "unintentionally taunting" the protagonist. Later on, her neck taunts him as well. I find that level of personification of body parts more disturbing than exciting. The setting is a town on the edge of some wasteland or other. Tribesman (helpfully labeled a man Of the Waste [sic]) comes to town and is picked up by the owner of the figuratively talkative body parts in this immortal exchange:
"Got any big plans for the day?"
"Nope."
"Good, then come to my house and f**k me."
Yeah, that's the kind of line that puts me right in the mood. Maybe it works on adolescent boys? The setting on the edge of the waste (Of the Waste, I assume) is not inherently steampunk. There's some steampunk scenery (look, a steam robot wanders by!), but it isn't relevant to the story, which could be about any Generic Barbarian Type and any Generic Townie Type in pretty much any setting. The big sex scene (at this length you only get one) has mild bondage & domination with black leather scenery (a mattress and a strap), but it doesn't punch any of the fetish buttons that well-done B&D* does. You never get the sense that the guy is particularly turned on by it. It just happens and he goes along with it. Either Killjoy is in the all-talk-no-walk category or she just isn't trying. Emotional involvement of the characters: zero. Attractiveness of the personalities: zero. Kinkiness of the sex: possibly shocking to very conservative people but not enough out of the mainstream for me to notice. So: people I don't like or care about who don't like or care about each other having boring sex. Big lose.
#2 "A Pirate of Both Day & Night" by Margaret Killjoy. The characters in this one are not Of the Waste. Instead they're Of The Sea or Of The Gear, though since they refer to a Great Waste, presumably they're in the same world as the previous tale. I think Killjoy has built an entire universe to use as a setting and is attempting to provide some sort of profound philosophical context with the Of-whatevers. There are places for that sort of thing, but deep background is not particularly necessary to erotica and in this case is just irritating. The story: female pirate (of the non-swashbuckling variety, alas) on a one-person ship with steam-powered banks of oars attacks merchant shipping and acquires a female companion. This is the story with the steam-powered vibrator; it emerges from another black leather mattress (Killjoy seems to have specific tastes in bedding). Again, the sex is fairly prosaic (unless you consider lesbian encounters exotic), but at least the pirate character is mildly interesting. As with the story before, this one makes little attempt at a plot, but in this case that's a plus. The ship itself is the only steampunk element, and the whole thing could be transposed to a world which isn't steampunk just by changing the word "steam" to "magic."
#3 "Emerson & Adalia" by Dimitri Markotin. This is Markotin's first published erotica story. There's an airship floating in the background, but otherwise it's a completely generic story which is presumably (given the presence of bustles) set in an alternate late 19th-century. (Note to author: minuets are not correct for this period unless things are a helluva lot more alternate.) Female thief breaks into house, has prosaic sex with the guy who lives there, leaves with fortune. Why? Well, the money is for the poor and the sex is because she likes him. I can't help thinking that both elements would have been better without the explanations. It's not so much that this is badly written, though it is amateurish, as that the setting is once again a small and not very steampunkish bow tied around a not-very-interesting sex scene.
#4 "Chaos Theory" by Dimitri Markotin. One wonders if these stories were selected to punch all the tickets of safe-for-vanilla-M&Ms fantasy: mild bondage, lesbianism, aggressive women who pursue men for sex, vibrators, and now we get to threesomes, ta-daah. I give the author credit for it being a fully multidirectional MFM threesome, though, and for having some mathematical philosophy as a prelude, though the philosophy all goes away when we switch to the sex scene. The two parts are so disconnected it's a shame he went to all that trouble. This is the only story that -- briefly -- achieves any steampunk or Victorian feel: the philosophy lends atmosphere and they actually ride on an airship, though for all they describe it it might as well have been a carriage. (Note to author: Victorian bloomers aren't underwear.) Markotin borrows Killjoy's leather mattress for a cameo. The threesome includes some very mild bondage and an amusing acknowledgment that these things can be logistically tricky to make work, but is still essentially standard stuff.
#5 "Emerson & Adalia Rob a House" by Dimitri Markotin. The title pretty much says it all. This is a sequel to #3, and looks to be the first in a series to which I do not plan to devote any more time. The title doesn't mention the luscious and willing housemaid, whose presence allows SteamyPunk to punch the FMF threesome ticket. (Note to author: Victorian bloomers still aren't underwear. The word you want is "drawers.") The sex scene is acceptable, though again not exactly boundary-pushing, but it's unfortunate that the author wraps a burglary story around it. It's also unfortunate that he can't keep track of which woman the man is f**king at any given moment when there are only two options. There is no specifically steampunk content at all, just a few vaguely Victorian details (gas lamps). On the bright side, no leather mattress. Perhaps it was getting sticky from overuse.
So what do I say about the stories as a whole? Mildly titillating in all the standard ways; perhaps a bit more exciting if your personal habits are conservative or your experience limited. Not really worthwhile as either steampunk or Victorian storytelling; the settings are flimsy and superficial and not really relevant to the plots. There's none of the joyful steampunk feel of Victorian science gone wild and not enough non-alternate historical detail to make that element interesting. The Victorian bits in Markotin's stuff are marred by the errors in the details (bloomers, minuets). Killjoy's Of-whatevers and generic fantasy setting with the Great Waste and the (Great?) Sea and the (Great?) Gear are irritating distractions, Markotin's Emerson & Adalia merely dull. The attempts at B&D completely miss the psychological element and most of the physical part as well.
If you must read one of these stories, I'd suggest "Chaos Theory." And if anyone would like these five 'zines, I'll be happy to send them along. It's been years since I've written erotica, but these stories really trip the I could do better switch.
* Yes, I know B&D should be bondage and discipline, but there's even less discipline in these stories than there is domination so I'm using the acronym in a nonstandard way.
Neil... What has four wheels and flies?
A farming truck filled with horse manure?
Posted by: Serge | January 26, 2009 at 11:28 AM
An imagine-spot shows two cows so rotund that their feet don't touch the ground; one of them has a corgi biting her rear end (dangling far above the ground), and the other is saying "Don't look now, dear, but you have the largest tick I've ever seen!"
What a mental image! :D
And Neil, I love the video of the corgi herding chickens. I also watched one linked off of it of two corgis "herding" a beach ball through the snow, and then I had to stop watching videos, or I would have spent the entire day on YouTube overdosing on corgi cuteness.
Posted by: AJ | January 26, 2009 at 04:54 PM
AJ... corgi cuteness
The horror. The horror!
Posted by: Serge | January 27, 2009 at 12:54 AM
Susan, some people appreciate art/literature/etc. no matter the belief/behavior of the creator and some people will shun the work because of the belief/behavior of the creator. Everybody has to make their own choice.
Four wheels and flies? A car with a dead body.
Posted by: Marilee J. Layman | January 27, 2009 at 01:16 AM
Four wheels and flies? A car with a dead body.
They did that one on MythBusters. I haven't seen the entire episode, only little clips on another episode, and I almost gagged.
Serge: There is currently an outbreak of corgi cuteness on my chair-and-a-half in the office. My cynicism is rapidly draining away in the face of their adorable sleepiness! Awww!
Posted by: AJ | January 27, 2009 at 02:48 AM
AJ... Somebody brought a corgi to work? Pixar lets people do that(*), from what my former boss once said about her hubby who works there as an animator.
(*) Not just corgis, mind you.
Posted by: Serge | January 27, 2009 at 06:17 AM
Marilee,
Well, I could suggest a couple of other people they should avoid nominating on the basis of behavior, lack of ethics, etc.
Posted by: Susan de Guardiola | January 27, 2009 at 10:58 AM
Neil,
What has four wheels and flies?
Duh! Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!
Posted by: Susan de Guardiola | January 27, 2009 at 11:00 AM
To clarify, w/r/t the WSFA thing:
I think if one is hosting a club meeting one is obligated to allow all the members in. I also think that if one can't stand someone, one shouldn't be required to have that person in one's home. The appropriate solution to these two things clashing is to move the meetings somewhere else, which is what seems to have eventually happened. It's a shame this was all handled so badly that it devolved into a club-splitting feud.
I think I'm fine not hearing any more details on the feuding part.
Posted by: Susan de Guardiola | January 27, 2009 at 11:10 AM
The 4 wheels and flies is a plot point somewhere in the middle of Stephen King's Dark Tower where the answer is "The town garbage truck". But all your answers are good too!
Posted by: Neil Willcox | January 27, 2009 at 11:40 AM
I assumed that the part about 'flies' probably was a noun, not a verb, as riddles are often supposed to have a misleading component. Also, some people in these parts like to make bad jokes. Otherwise, I'd have named, not Chitty Chitty Bang Bang like Susan did, but Bladerunner's spinners.
Posted by: Serge | January 27, 2009 at 11:53 AM
Serge: My husband and I both work from home, so our corgis live at work ;) The office is set up in one of our three bedrooms, and we have a chair-and-a-half that folds out into a twin bed. As soon as it was moved into the office, the corgis decided that it was a big, expensive dog bed. Most of the pictures of them on my Flickr album, they're sitting/lying/sleeping on it. Whoever is sleeping on the right (usually Daisy) is within easy arm's reach of my desk.
Susan: my gaming group isn't a club, per se, but there is a person in it who I can't stand and would prefer not to have in my house. However, we bought this house because it had a large workshop that could be converted into a game room, because my husband wanted to host gaming. So I have to put up with this person being in my house, but I do not play in any game that this person is part of. Thankfully, that game is now being hosted someplace else, but I suspect that when we finish the renovations on our game room, they'll come back.
However, there are people who I would probably never allow in my house. There was one guy who used to be part of our group and who was finally asked to leave for rampant cheating... however, he was also a looming physical presence and tended to get too touchy with most of the female gamers (I think I only escaped his attention by being married). I wasn't really comfortable when he knew where our apartment was, I don't think I would want him knowing where my house was. He also had boundary issues with inviting himself over and never leaving.
Posted by: AJ | January 27, 2009 at 01:21 PM
AJ... When I work from home (see the photo in the 'library' thread), I usually wind up with one dog curled up on the floor next to my chair. Or I wind up with this.
Posted by: Serge | January 27, 2009 at 02:12 PM
Ooooooh... I think I may visit this hat shop during my trip to the Bay Area at the end of February.
Posted by: Serge | January 30, 2009 at 12:42 AM
Serge: I love that picture of Agatha. Her expression is pure cat!
That looks like quite the upscale hat shop!
Posted by: AJ | January 30, 2009 at 01:29 PM
AJ... Her expression is pure cat!
"The human fool! The moment he looks away, I'll be buying so much good stuff with his Pawpal account!"
Posted by: Serge | January 30, 2009 at 02:00 PM
Serge, I went to a new restaurant in the area, Longhorn Steakhouse, and sat right next to one of those hats.
And Susan, I think this is the right thread, how about these leggings?
Posted by: Marilee J. Layman | January 30, 2009 at 08:19 PM
And Susan, I think this is the right thread, how about these leggings?
I could/would wear those. They'd go with this skirt that I bought to wear to the Swarovski party next week.
Posted by: AJ | January 30, 2009 at 11:42 PM
Marilee... Those leggings - in fact, the whole outfit - is... whoa.
Posted by: Serge | January 31, 2009 at 01:37 AM
Serge:
The lack of prices on that hat shop's website would make me a little nervous. (Although hats are generally more expensive than one would expect.)
Marilee:
Those are pretty cool leggings, but I still want my leg-ruffles. The skirt concept is actually similar to what I was thinking of wearing over mine, though my idea is more bustle-style and sticks out a lot less on the sides.
Posted by: Susan de Guardiola | January 31, 2009 at 08:16 AM
Something is going on with this thread. Maybe it's because of its many messages. The front page says the last message is by Susan, but I don't see it, even after hitting 'refresh'. I'll come back later, at which point it'll be visible. This seems to have started yesterday afternoon.
Posted by: Serge | January 31, 2009 at 08:40 AM
Serge:
I see both my comment and yours. Sometimes the comments take a moment to show up.
Posted by: Susan de Guardiola | January 31, 2009 at 08:58 AM
I see them now, Susan, as I expected, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.
Posted by: Serge | January 31, 2009 at 09:45 AM
Serge, I was having the same problem yesterday, except that if I hit refresh, it worked. Maybe it just likes me better ;)
Susan, I can't decide whether or not I like her dress/skirt in that picture. I think it's teetering right on the edge of over-the-top. But I like the general vibe of the outfit, a kind of Baroque steampunk, with an extra helping of "punk" thanks to those leggings (although they look almost like they might be an extension of the boots. Hard to tell in B&W).
Posted by: AJ | January 31, 2009 at 12:37 PM
AJ... I guess Susan's site is playing favorites because I had been hitting 'refresh', alas to no avail.
As for Sarah Brightman's costume... She needs a clock where her belly button is. Even better, she should have a clock in her big hair.
Posted by: Serge | January 31, 2009 at 03:23 PM
Maybe this clock?
(Also - Sarah Brightman has a clock in her merchandise line??!? I don't know if this brilliant or just bonkers. Of course it really needs to play this song)
Posted by: Neil Willcox | January 31, 2009 at 05:09 PM
Wow, Neil, that's some video! I bet she wishes it was hidden now!
AJ, very cute bustle-skirt! It's clearer in the original, they're separate from the boots.
Susan, so how about these bell bottoms?
Posted by: Marilee J. Layman | January 31, 2009 at 07:04 PM
I must say, you have to really like a musician to want a clock whose only adornment is said musician's signature.
Also, that video is so bad that I only got about a minute into it, and then I bookmarked it, so next time one of my husband's friends subjects us to an awful video, we have the perfect retaliation. Thank you for reminding me how happy I am to have been born too late for disco.
Marilee, I am so excited about the bustle skirt :D I can't wait to wear it. Not sure what top I'll wear with it, but if our 70-80 degree weather holds true, my options are pretty open.
(and I love those bell bottoms, too :D)
Posted by: AJ | January 31, 2009 at 11:37 PM
Neil Willcox... About that Brightman video... The horror! The Horror!!!
As for clocks in one's vestment, I was thinking of this.
Posted by: Serge | February 01, 2009 at 01:23 AM
Marilee:
I love the bell-bottomed horse! Long furry fetlocks, very nice.
That Sarah Brightman video is beyond words. The costumes...the makeup...the bare-chested guys...just, wow.
Disclosure: I was a big Phantom fan back in 1987, but I actually didn't like SB in the role as much as the other two people I saw/heard sing it. Somewhere I have a silly SB cartoon a friend of mine did on the topic of her emotional expressiveness.
I need to go wake up my three houseguests (out of four this weekend, all occasional-or-more Rixo commenters: Kat, Raven, Keira, Marc) and head to the city. My weekend so far:
Friday: host and DJ waltz evening. Copy & collate fliers until 2:30am
Saturday: host and lead evening of 19thc cotillions suitably revamped for modern times. Copy & collate fliers until 2:15am.
Sunday: Go to NYC & teach for five hours; return home and go to work. Finish flier collation.
Sorry if I've been a little quiet, but I am kinda swamped here.
Posted by: Susan de Guardiola | February 01, 2009 at 08:57 AM
Don't worry, Susan. As for Brightman's video, I think I'll go post an entry about it on my blog. I'll blame... I mean... thank Neil for the link and will remind people of all the neat tuff they miss out on when they don't visit Rixo.
Posted by: Serge | February 01, 2009 at 09:28 AM
Sarah was 18 at the time and they sold half a million copies of that record. Although it gets lumped into her early career in the biography on her site it's where she first came to public awareness. If only we all had such embarassing things in our pasts. I mean, I do, but this brought her fame and money and got her into the career she has. Mine are just embarassing.
On the other hand I was in a club last October for a friend's birthday and this came on, so she may she still be getting reminded of it 30 years later.
I really can't see who would want a Sarah Brightman clock. Although if my Dad was more of a fan - it's almost impossible to get him anything he wants for a present as he mostly buys things he wants. Perhaps one of her albums for his birthday and then the clock for christmas.
Also I have a new part-time job tutoring maths. Take that recession! Of course to singlehandedly kickstart the economy I'll have to spend the money. Time for a visit to the bookshop. Except it's Sunday and snowing. Damn it.
Posted by: Neil Willcox | February 01, 2009 at 10:33 AM
Neil... Glad to hear about the job.
Posted by: Serge | February 01, 2009 at 11:16 AM
Serge: Oh, some of those hats are lovely! Definitely a place to keep in mind should I get out there.
Posted by: Carol Witt | February 01, 2009 at 03:15 PM
Carol... I'll be in the Bay Area the las week of the month, but I don't think I could easily get to the Menlo park shop as I'll be car-less. On the other hand, there is the other hat shop in Oakland right next to a BART train station.
Posted by: Serge | February 01, 2009 at 04:12 PM
Some time ago, I volunteered to watch Meet the Robinsons. My opinion? I liked the beginning. I liked the end. The events in between, as the young hero is whisked to the Future, leaves a lot to be desired. The bowler hats with mechanical spider legs were neat though.
Posted by: Serge | February 01, 2009 at 06:46 PM
Neil, I performed professionally from age 5 to 17 and never did anything like that. Of course, there's no copies of them, either, so maybe my mind has made them look better than they were. It was before disco, though.
Congrats, Neil! I can't tutor anybody but really smart people. I don't know how I learned things so I can't explain it to regular people.
Posted by: Marilee J. Layman | February 01, 2009 at 07:23 PM
Neil, congratulations on the job! May none of your students complain about math as much as I do ;)
Posted by: AJ | February 01, 2009 at 09:41 PM
Being stuck at home thanks to the snow I've dumped 10 examples of Sci-Fi Pop into one blogpost. It's not for the faint-hearted.
(Notices that he's talking about tutoring kids a couple of hundred comments into a post about steampunk erotica. Decides not to continue in this forum.)
Posted by: Neil Willcox | February 02, 2009 at 05:53 AM
My wife wasn't able to get me Mike Ploog's Moon Shadows, an out-of-print book of his art, for our wedding anniversary, so, last night, I decided to give myself a belated present. I went online to buy 3 DVDs. Time after Time cost more than Wild Wild West. That probably says how little the world appreciated that movie. Heck, I wasn't too happy with it either, but it did have that giant mechanical spider. I also treated myself to First Men in the Moon, the title of which is misleading because the hero's girlfriend comes along. (It was either that or have her get blown into space when their anti-gravity ship took off.) Then again, it was based on an HG Wells novel, so they could hardly rlease a movie called HG Wells's First Men and One Woman in the Moon.
Posted by: Serge | February 08, 2009 at 10:21 AM
Sounds interesting, Serge! AJ got a steampunk dragon at Gem Show (where she's working her fingers off packaging crystals for one of our beadstore owner friends) and I can't wait to see the picture!
Posted by: Marilee J. Layman | February 08, 2009 at 06:54 PM
We want pictures! Of the steampunk dragon, of course, not of AJ's detached digits.
Posted by: Serge | February 09, 2009 at 01:11 AM
Marilee... Does your offer of a few weeks ago stand, regarding your copying VHS tapes to DVD? If so, I'd like to have that done for Master of the World and maybe a few MST3K titles.
Posted by: Serge | February 12, 2009 at 06:56 PM
Yip! Yip! Yip! Is anyone else getting the same thing I am getting?
Try clicking a NAME in the list of recent comments. Tell me where you end up!
Posted by: Susan de Guardiola | February 12, 2009 at 06:59 PM
Wooo! It works! How awesome!
Here is the steampunk dragon, as well as other Gem Show purchases.
I did not quite work my digits off, but I did pinch the heck out of one of my fingers by pressing little caps onto little tubes of little crystals, before I learned that it was better to use the table to smoosh them into place.
Posted by: AJ | February 12, 2009 at 07:16 PM
The comment ids work! The comment links work! WOO HOO!!!!!
It's about bloody time, Typepad people!
Posted by: Susan de Guardiola | February 12, 2009 at 07:24 PM
I love the steampunk dragon, AJ!
Posted by: Susan de Guardiola | February 12, 2009 at 07:25 PM
Ooooh, very nice, AJ. And yes, the link works, Susan. Yay!
Posted by: Serge | February 12, 2009 at 09:55 PM
No more scrolling through seven screens of comments! Maybe I won't have to leave Typepad after all!
Posted by: Susan de Guardiola | February 12, 2009 at 10:34 PM
In case you're interested, Alan Moore's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: 1910 is finally out. Two years late.
Posted by: Serge | May 10, 2009 at 01:15 AM
Margaret "Magpie" Killjoy is male, not female as the name might imply. And the stories are set in a post-civ culture as steampunk encompasses any period where the the use of steam or clockwork powered gear that is not mass-produced but made by hand is used. It may have started as a Victorian fiction genre but has taken on a new meaning for many people.
Posted by: Phaolan | June 09, 2009 at 10:44 AM
Phaolan,
Somehow MK being male doesn't surprise me as much as it might, given the style of the stories.
The stories still are not particularly steampunk or, sorry, particularly good erotica. Perhaps his non-erotica stories work better.
Posted by: Susan de Guardiola | June 09, 2009 at 11:31 AM
Awesome! Its actually remarkable paragraph, I have got much clear idea concerning from this piece oof writing.
Posted by: comedy | November 13, 2013 at 02:06 PM
I love that book! Got to get the sequal
Posted by: Manny | November 11, 2015 at 03:08 AM