Flying Free

Well, I did it.

After several years of dutifully but miserably working a day job in order to get my finances in order (credit card debt paid off, house refinanced, roof replaced, elective surgery had, several months salary put aside), and, in particular, after eighteen months working at a job which I rather liked but with a boss whose management tactics made me, shall we say, not so happy, I've cut the cord.

As of yesterday, I have Quit My Day Job. 

You know: that thing you're not supposed to do.  That thing you're especially not supposed to do in the middle of a major recession.  That thing that leaves me without any plan for health care, since the U.S. is screwed up with regard to health care.

But I did that thing, yes I did.

As anyone who reads Rixo and/or Kickery knows, my true passion in life is historical social dance and, to some extent, social dance in general.  Researching, writing, lecturing, teaching.  And if I ever want to do this as more than something squeezed into weekends and evenings as I run myself ragged trying to juggle dance and day job, I need to make the time to really focus on it.  Market myself.  Develop new markets.  Do new research.  Write some books.  Truly live what I love.  And since what I love has a physical component, I can't wait forever to start. 

I hate the idea of still sitting behind a desk in an admin job at age 60 saying "gosh, I wish I had gone and done the dance thing full-time." 

I don't want to die with that regret.

So I'm not waiting any more.  I'm going to have an Adventure for a few weeks while I brainstorm approaches, then I'm starting.  Now.

Frankly, I'm a little terrified.  I've been dithering about this for months; up to a week ago, I was still applying for new day jobs and going on interviews.  Teaching dance is what I non-jokingly tell my writer friends is the only sort of career less stable and lucrative than writing fiction.

I'm not going to depend on it as my sole source of income in the short term.  I have an apartment in my multi-family home for rent.  I'm an accomplished teacher, and will also work on developing tutoring gigs.  (My dental hygienist pays her son's tutor an eye-popping $125 an hour.)  I ace standardized tests and am hoping to teach test prep courses -- despite being a humanities sort of scholar, I am surprisingly good at math up through algebra and geometry.  I already have a little list of people who want to buy a dance book when I write it, and I'm estimating about a month to get it written.  My musician friends will help me get it published.  My Publishers Weekly reviewing is enough to keep me in groceries every month; fortunately I'm not a fancy eater.  I have a lengthy list of ideas for places that might pay me to do something dance-related.  And I'm probably going to have to use temping to make ends meet for quite a while. 

I'm going to have to be extremely disciplined about time management and cut out a lot of socializing, though I still plan to do cons -- cheaply -- for fun and keep blogging (in a more regular way, I hope).  Online Scrabble will get uninstalled from my laptop and chat will usually be turned off.  Dance gigs I've done for free are going to have to turn into paying gigs or get dropped.  I'm going to have to swallow my pride and let people help me in ways I don't normally accept help.  I cannot, under any circumstances, get depressed.  I also may apply to grad school and go after a PhD, but only if it's fully funded with stipend; I am not insane enough to go into massive educational debt at my age.  I like being debt-free other than my mortgage.

In my pessimistic moments, I wonder if I'm falling free or flying free.  In Lois McMaster Bujold's wonderful novel, they end up being the same thing.  So...I'm flying.  And at least I don't have to steal a space station to get started.

I hope my small (but very high-quality) band of Rixo readers/commenters will give me lots of moral support while I try my wings.

Comments

[Rissicat]

Being tethered is wonderful for security - but then you never really develop your wings, do you?

I think this is a wonderful move for you. It appears to me that you've been living two lives that barely intersect at all. Better for you to put your energy into the life that you really love!

((Hugs))

[Jeff]

Congratulations!

[Serge]

Truly live what I love.

Go for it!

[kathleen]

Yay! We've been talking about it for years, and it is good. Really. If you endup out here for a gig, let me know...I'll take care of housing.

[Mary Aileen]

Go for it!

[Michael A. Burstein]

Best of luck!

[Nomi]

Congratulations and best of luck!

[Paul A.]

Congratulations and best of luck!

(Yes, somebody just said that, but it was exactly what I wanted to say, so I'm saying it again.)

[Neil W]

Hooray!

(My dental hygienist pays her son's tutor an eye-popping $125 an hour.)

Consider my eyes popped.

[Velma]

Having quit my job in June to change our lives, I will cheer you on in public now. Go for it!

[Marilee J. Layman]

Sounds like an excellent choice! I hope it all works out.

[Paul B.]

Wow, that's a big step. Sounds like you've gotten everything sorted out in advance, though. I've no doubt you'll do fine.

I'm reminded of something I've said a number of times over the years about my job (and, I might add, said at the job):
"This isn't my life. This is what I do to pay for my life."

[Karen Ann]

You're a braver girl than I am -- I salute you and wish you all the best!

[catx]

Woo hoo!!!! :D

[Mnemex]

Congrats on finally making the plunge -- and good luck!

[Syd]

I did six years ago what you've just done--and my only regret is that I didn't actually make the preparations you made, or have any plan except "get the hell out of Corporate America"...which isn't a bad goal, but it was rather lacking in specifics...

In short, congratulations, and may your life be as you wish!

[Carol Witt]

Obviously I'm way behind. Congratulations! I know how scary it is to leave the security of a job for a passion, even with lots of planning and support. You can do it!